Conflict is unavoidable, and can be an opportunity for clarification, growth, and even reinforcement of relationships. After you read, try the exercises at the end of the section.
Learning Objective
- Understand evaluations and criticism in the workplace, and discuss several strategies for resolving workplace conflict.
The
word "conflict" produces a sense of anxiety for many people, but it is
part of the human experience. Just because conflict is universal does
not mean that we cannot improve how we handle disagreements,
misunderstandings, and struggles to understand or make ourselves
understood. Joyce Hocker and William Wilmot offer us
several principles on conflict that have been adapted here for our
discussion:
- Conflict is universal.
- Conflict is associated with incompatible goals.
- Conflict is associated with scarce resources.
- Conflict is associated with interference.
- Conflict is not a sign of a poor relationship.
- Conflict cannot be avoided.
- Conflict cannot always be resolved.
- Conflict is not always bad.
Conflict is the physical or psychological struggle associated with the perception of opposing or incompatible goals, desires, demands, wants, or needs. When incompatible goals, scarce resources, or interference are present, conflict is a typical result, but it doesn't mean the relationship is poor or failing. All relationships progress through times of conflict and collaboration. How we navigate and negotiate these challenges influences, reinforces, or destroys the relationship. Conflict is universal, but how and when it occurs is open to influence and interpretation. Rather than viewing conflict from a negative frame of reference, view it as an opportunity for clarification, growth, and even reinforcement of the relationship.
Conflict Management Strategies
As professional communicators, we can acknowledge and anticipate that conflict will be present in every context or environment where communication occurs. To that end, we can predict, anticipate, and formulate strategies to address conflict successfully. How you choose to approach conflict influences its resolution. Joseph DeVito offers us several conflict management strategies that we have adapted and expanded for our use.
Avoidance
You may choose to change the subject, leave the room, or not even enter the room in the first place, but the conflict will remain and resurface when you least expect it. Your reluctance to address the conflict directly is a normal response, and one which many cultures prize. In cultures where independence is highly valued, direct confrontation is more common. In cultures where the community is emphasized over the individual, indirect strategies may be more common. Avoidance allows for more time to resolve the problem, but can also increase costs associated with problem in the first place. Your organization or business will have policies and protocols to follow regarding conflict and redress, but it is always wise to consider the position of your conversational partner or opponent and to give them, as well as yourself, time to explore alternatives.
Defensiveness versus Supportiveness
Jack Gibb discussed defensive and supportive communication interactions as part of his analysis of conflict management. Defensive communication is characterized by control, evaluation, and judgments, while supportive communication focuses on the points and not personalities. When we feel judged or criticized, our ability to listen can be diminished, and we may only hear the negative message. By choosing to focus on the message instead of the messenger, we keep the discussion supportive and professional.
Face-Detracting and Face-Saving
Communication
is not competition. Communication is the sharing of understanding and
meaning, but does everyone always share equally? People struggle for
control, limit access to resources and information as part of
territorial displays, and otherwise use the process of communication to
engage in competition. People also use communication for collaboration.
Both competition and collaboration can be observed in communication
interactions, but there are two concepts central to both:
face-detracting and face-saving strategies.
Face-detracting
strategies involve messages or statements that take away from the
respect, integrity, or credibility of a person. Face-saving strategies
protect credibility and separate message from messenger. For example,
you might say that "sales were down this quarter," without specifically
noting who was responsible. Sales were simply down. If, however, you
ask, "How does the sales manager explain the decline in sales?" you have
specifically connected an individual with the negative news. While we
may want to specifically connect tasks and job responsibilities to
individuals and departments, in terms of language each strategy has
distinct results.
Face-detracting
strategies often produce a defensive communication climate, inhibit
listening, and allow for little room for collaboration. To save face is
to raise the issue while preserving a supportive climate, allowing room
in the conversation for constructive discussions and problem solving. By
using a face-saving strategy to shift the emphasis from the individual
to the issue, we avoid power struggles and personalities, providing each
other space to save face.
In
collectivist cultures, where the community's well-being is promoted or
valued above that of the individual, face-saving strategies are a common
communicative strategies. In Japan, for example, to confront someone
directly is perceived as humiliation, a great insult. In the United
States, greater emphasis is placed on individual performance, and
responsibility may be more directly assessed. If our goal is to solve a
problem, and preserve the relationship, then consideration of a
face-saving strategy should be one option a skilled business
communicator considers when addressing negative news or information.
Empathy
Communication involves not only the words we write or speak, but how and when we write or say them. The way we communicate also carries meaning, and empathy for the individual involves attending to this aspect of interaction. Empathetic listening involves listening to both the literal and implied meanings within a message. For example, the implied meaning might involve understanding what has led this person to feel this way. By paying attention to feelings and emotions associated with content and information, we can build relationships and address conflict more constructively. In management, negotiating conflict is a common task and empathy is one strategy to consider when attempting to resolve issues.
Gunnysacking
George
Bach and Peter Wyden discuss gunnysacking (or backpacking) as the imaginary bag we all carry
into which we place unresolved conflicts or grievances over time. If
your organization has gone through a merger, and your business has
transformed, there may have been conflicts that occurred during the
transition. Holding onto the way things used to be can be like a stone
in your gunnysack, and influence how you interpret your current context.
People
may be aware of similar issues but might not know your history, and
cannot see your backpack or its contents. For example, if your previous
manager handled issues in one way, and your new manage handles them in a
different way, this may cause you some degree of stress and
frustration. Your new manager cannot see how the relationship existed in
the past, but will still observe the tension. Bottling up your
frustrations only hurts you and can cause your current relationships to
suffer. By addressing, or unpacking, the stones you carry, you can
better assess the current situation with the current patterns and
variables.
We
learn from experience, but can distinguish between old wounds and
current challenges, and try to focus our energies where they will make
the most positive impact.
Managing Your Emotions
Have
you ever seen red, or perceived a situation through rage, anger, or
frustration? Then you know that you cannot see or think clearly when you
are experiencing strong emotions. There will be times in the work
environment when emotions run high. Your awareness of them can help you
clear your mind and choose to wait until the moment has passed to tackle
the challenge.
"Never
speak or make decision in anger" is one common saying that holds true,
but not all emotions involve fear, anger, or frustration. A job loss can
be a sort of professional death for many, and the sense of loss can be
profound. The loss of a colleague to a layoff while retaining your
position can bring pain as well as relief, and a sense of survivor's
guilt. Emotions can be contagious in the workplace, and fear of the
unknown can influence people to act in irrational ways. The wise
business communicator can recognize when emotions are on edge in
themselves or others, and choose to wait to communicate, problem-solve,
or negotiate until after the moment has passed.
Evaluations and Criticism in the Workplace
Mary Ellen Guffey wisely notes that Xenophon, a Greek philosopher, once said, "The sweetest of all sounds is praise". We have seen previously that appreciation, respect, inclusion, and belonging are all basic human needs across all contexts, and are particularly relevant in the workplace. Efficiency and morale are positively related, and recognition of good work is important. There may come a time, however, when evaluations involve criticism. Knowing how to approach this criticism can give you peace of mind to listen clearly, separating subjective, personal attacks from objective, constructive requests for improvement. Guffey offers us seven strategies for giving and receiving evaluations and criticism in the workplace that we have adapted here.
Listen without Interrupting
If
you are on the receiving end of an evaluation, start by listening
without interruption. Interruptions can be internal and external, and
warrant further discussion. If your supervisor starts to discuss a point
and you immediately start debating the point in your mind, you are
paying attention to yourself and what you think they said or are going
to say, and not that which is actually communicated. This gives rise to
misunderstandings and will cause you to lose valuable information you
need to understand and address the issue at hand.
External
interruptions may involve your attempt to get a word in edgewise, and
may change the course of the conversation. Let them speak while you
listen, and if you need to take notes to focus your thoughts, take clear
notes of what is said, also noting points to revisit later. External
interruptions can also take the form of a telephone ringing, a "text
message has arrived" chime, or a coworker dropping by in the middle of
the conversation.
As
an effective business communicator, you know all too well to consider
the context and climate of the communication interaction when
approaching the delicate subject of evaluations or criticism. Choose a
time and place free from interruption. Choose one outside the common
space where there may be many observers. Turn off your cell phone.
Choose face-to-face communication instead of an impersonal e-mail. By
providing a space free of interruption, you are displaying respect for
the individual and the information.
Determine the Speaker's Intent
We have discussed previews as a normal part of conversation, and in this context they play an important role. People want to know what is coming and generally dislike surprises, particularly when the context of an evaluation is present. If you are on the receiving end, you may need to ask a clarifying question if it doesn't count as an interruption. You may also need to take notes and write down questions that come to mind to address when it is your turn to speak. As a manager, be clear and positive in your opening and lead with praise. You can find one point, even if it is only that the employee consistently shows up to work on time, to highlight before transitioning to a performance issue.
Indicate You Are Listening
In mainstream U.S. culture, eye contact is a signal that you are listening and paying attention to the person speaking. Take notes, nod your head, or lean forward to display interest and listening. Regardless of whether you are the employee receiving the criticism or the supervisor delivering it, displaying listening behavior engenders a positive climate that helps mitigate the challenge of negative news or constructive criticism.
Paraphrase
Restate
the main points to paraphrase what has been discussed. This verbal
display allows for clarification and acknowledges receipt of the
message.
If
you are the employee, summarize the main points and consider steps you
will take to correct the situation. If none come to mind or you are
nervous and are having a hard time thinking clearly, state out loud the
main point and ask if you can provide solution steps and strategies at a
later date. You can request a follow-up meeting if appropriate, or
indicate you will respond in writing via e-mail to provide the
additional information.
If
you are the employer, restate the main points to ensure that the
message was received, as not everyone hears everything that is said or
discussed the first time it is presented. Stress can impair listening,
and paraphrasing the main points can help address this common response.
If You Agree
If an apology is well deserved, offer it. Communicate clearly what will change or indicate when you will respond with specific strategies to address the concern. As a manager you will want to formulate a plan that addresses the issue and outlines responsibilities as well as time frames for corrective action. As an employee you will want specific steps you can both agree on that will serve to solve the problem. Clear communication and acceptance of responsibility demonstrates maturity and respect.
If You Disagree
If
you disagree, focus on the points or issue and not personalities. Do
not bring up past issues and keep the conversation focused on the task
at hand. You may want to suggest, now that you better understand their
position, a follow-up meeting to give you time to reflect on the issues.
You may want to consider involving a third party, investigating to
learn more about the issue, or taking time to cool off.
Do
not respond in anger or frustration; instead, always display
professionalism. If the criticism is unwarranted, consider that the
information they have may be flawed or biased, and consider ways to
learn more about the case to share with them, searching for a mutually
beneficial solution.
If
other strategies to resolve the conflict fail, consider contacting your
human resources department to learn more about due process procedures
at your workplace. Display respect and never say anything that would
reflect poorly on yourself or your organization. Words spoken in anger
can have a lasting impact and are impossible to retrieve or take back.
Learn from Experience
Every
communication interaction provides an opportunity for learning if you
choose to see it. Sometimes the lessons are situational and may not
apply in future contexts. Other times the lessons learned may well serve
you across your professional career. Taking notes for yourself to
clarify your thoughts, much like a journal, serve to document and help
you see the situation more clearly.
Recognize
that some aspects of communication are intentional, and may communicate
meaning, even if it is hard to understand. Also, know that some aspects
of communication are unintentional, and may not imply meaning or
design. People make mistakes. They say things they should not have said.
Emotions are revealed that are not always rational, and not always
associated with the current context. A challenging morning at home can
spill over into the work day and someone's bad mood may have nothing to
do with you.
Try to distinguish between what you can control and what you cannot, and always choose professionalism.
Key Takeaway
Conflict is unavoidable and can be opportunity for clarification, growth, and even reinforcement of the relationship.
Exercises
- Write a description of a situation you recall where you came into conflict with someone else. It may be something that happened years ago, or a current issue that just arose. Using the principles and strategies in this section, describe how the conflict was resolved, or could have been resolved. Discuss your ideas with your classmates.
- Of the strategies for managing conflict described in this section, which do you think are the most effective? Why? Discuss your opinions with a classmate.
- Can you
think of a time when a conflict led to a new opportunity, better
understanding, or other positive result? If not, think of a past
conflict and imagine a positive outcome. Write a two- to three-paragraph
description of what happened, or what you imagine could happen. Share
your results with a classmate.
Source: http://saylordotorg.github.io/text_business-communication-for-success/s20-06-conflict-in-the-work-environme.html This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 License.